Date Night. What on earth is that? I hear you ask…
Well, there are several not so mythical moms, dads, and partners, who have not so mythical date nights.
I am not lying, and they are dedicated enough to each other to find the time to connect, have fun, plan, and romance!
Okay, Okay. I will cut the sarcasm.
Date night is probably an essential thing that you can do for your relationship with your other half after bringing children into the mix. It is more than just a lavish event saved for the privileged (like most of us think). It is a necessity for the success of your relationship.
To be completely transparent, this article is being written in collaboration with my sexy, intelligent, considerate, empathetic, and annoying (at times) partner Ben although I am going to add a few suggestions in before publishing because I don’t want him to see what I have planned.
Don’t worry; he is qualified.
He has three children of his own, and together, we successfully juggle and love 5 GIRLS as a blended family that travels and operate a business together. And YES, we make time for date night.
Previous to Ben, I was in a relationship with my children’s father. I care about him, of course, but we didn’t give precedence or understand the importance of ús time’. There are many reasons why our relationship broke down, but I believe the lack of us time was one of them. Putting more conscious effort into this could have even saved it.
Many of you will understand what I am going to say next. We had lost everything that we first found in each other. So, we had kids and life stressors built up around us. We didn’t deal with them well, and as a result, we merely existed under the same roof. Some times, we would pass each other in the lounge room, and if we had time to talk, it was usually about money or other issues.
To add to that, we were always so busy, not only did we have kids, but we also had work. Greg worked in two jobs that he was required to work after hours and be on call, and when he did have the time he usually spent it outside of the house doing other things.
I also had to work, and when I did get time to spend with Greg, it wasn’t pleasant.
We had lost that romantic spark, and to be honest; we weren’t even friends anymore.
Ben’s story is very similar to mine.
If this speaks to you and touches a nerve, it is okay, and there is still hope. Date night might be just what you need to start reconnecting.
What is Date Night?
Date Night, or day, or morning, or arvo, or Skype call, or holiday, or weekend (depending on your schedule and circumstance) is the time that you take dedicated purely for yourself and your partner (if you have one, we will provide ideas for single momma’s here too!).
A date night is about not having to worry about anything else other than the person in front of you (your partner).
It is about letting go, freeing your mind of day to day stressors and reconnecting with who you are together and as individuals.
Date night is about staying connected and continually growing with your partner.
5 Reasons Why Date Night is Important?
Through all of the BS of everyday life, it is essential to remember why you decided to be together in the first place. It is a little slice of the honeymoon period saved for every week.
A relationship is forever evolving, and you need to PROVIDE TIME to EVOLVE together. A relationship is NOT A CERTAINTY; it involves two different people. A relationship is a variable, and it takes WORK. If your relationship is essential to both of you, this is the time you find to help make it work.
A date night ensures that you both don’t turn into robots. Boring and on automation. Both Ben and I found with our previous relationships that we didn’t take time to work on them and be with our partners and we wound up going about our day to day, in a flurry of subconscious behaviors and habits (not always good ones), fighting about the same things and not moving forward together.
I was speaking to a friend the other day. She has three children and has been married for more than a decade. She was telling me about how she would probably leave if it weren’t for the kids. There was no connection, no spark. She told me that it had been 2 or 3 years since she had that “intense feeling of love.” She isn’t alone.
They have not dedicated time to their relationship in years, which will contribute to the decline of intimacy, passion, trust, commitment, sexual attitudes, understanding, growth, and communication.
Date night is a “skill,” it may take time to develop the art of putting aside time for the two of you, but over time, it will help improve the health of your relationship.
It could save your relationship.
Seriously. The marriage foundation undertook research that suggested couples who go on a date night together are “more likely to stay together.” In this report, The National Marriage Project, over 1600 married couples took the survey and those who did date night were:
- 350% happier than those who didn’t
- 350% more likely to have sexual satisfaction above the average – whit wheow
- 250% stronger feelings of commitment to the relationship
Better communication and less likely to predict divorce.
If you are a person that is considering ending your relationship and are thinking or saying Ï have tried everything”… have you tried date night?
Bring back laughter.
Laughter is the key to improving any relationship and helping it to last. It can strengthen bonds and break down anger and contempt that we hold towards the other partner in a relationship. Couples who “stop laughing together” are more likely to split up. (Dacher Keltner – Born to be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life)
Laughing together and being playful will help you and your partner to relieve stress, relate and repair anger and conflict.
Find ways to be silly or reintroduce laughter into your relationship through date night. Give a comedy show a go, a funny movie or designate a night playing games designed to get you giggling. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
Introduce or reintroduce whatever is lacking is in your relationship.
Whether you need to Spice it up, reform a Connection, reignite communication, keep the love alive, or have time for future planning – Date night ticks all of these boxes. You can mold your date nights to accommodate any of your needs and plan for whatever outcome you want. The key here is that you have to be honest with yourself, and you have to be honest with your partner.
Do you need to add some romance and some potential sexy time?
It may be that you haven’t put a concerted effort into looking at the kind of life you both want to create for your future.
Not only that, spending time alone, without distractions will naturally help you to reconnect if you keep it positive and work hard to form new foundations and strengths in your relationship.
De-Stress from the day to day.
Work, money, family, kids, community, pressure – pressure – pressure! The average person and couple experience more stress than in any previous generation. Many of us get around feeling like the whole world is on our shoulders and we just can’t cut a break!
Let Date Night be Your Break!
Date night is a time to get away from all of this and in some cases, to find solutions in a way that is positive and exciting.
So many relationships break down because all of the conversation and energy focused on problems, not solutions. We speak about everything that is going wrong and dismiss or can’t even see everything that is going right. Many relationships never get a break from all of the stress. Being fixated on stressors without a solution is not allowed at date night, get away from it for a bit. It will improve your relationship and also your HEALTH and WELLBEING!
Create a Friendship
How many of you feel like your partner and yourself have lost your friendship. It has become so drab, or you are stuck in a comfort zone that your ant marching routine has overtaken the banter and bond?
Date night will help you begin to belong together and act as a team, rather than seeing them as a person who you are in conflict with or someone that you pass in the hallway every morning.
For many women to get down and dirty or share a little bit of romance with their other half, they need to feel comfortable and feel a friendship connection in their relationship. Building a friendship can be a precursor for more passionate and exciting sex and romantic action.
How to Plan Date Nights to Get What You Want
Sit down and let your partner know that you want to start going on date nights and then agree to have a safe conversation (where no one takes offense to what is said) to discuss what outcomes you would like your date night to have. It allows you to communicate the elements that you want to improve or introduce into your relationship. A date night can also be confronting as it means you both have to expose what you feel is lacking in the relationship. It is vital that neither of you takes anything personally.
- Sit together in a quiet space with no distractions
- Discuss together why date night is important
- Write down the outcomes/elements of your relationship that you want to improve or bring back to life.
- Remember, both people must contribute. You have twice as many ears as you do a mouth. It is about the needs of both partners.
Rules for Date Night
Unless your children are your waiters or massage therapist, this is not an event that they need to attend. No Candy Crush or phones. Turn them off. Put all pressures and stresses aside. Try to avoid talking about Work, finances, etc
Note: There is an exception to this rule if you are doing future planning.
Make it About You
Date Night is a NO gossip zone, (this isn’t about your neighbors, it is about you)
Not every date night can include friends or family. Double dates and friends BBQ’s are okay on occasion.
Not every date night is going to result in sex (unless you have planned for it). Although this may be the case because you are reconnecting, the outcome is not always Bumping Uglies (but we won’t blame you if this happens after some of the games we are going to throw your way).
Date night is not for bringing up problems of the past. It is about focusing on the positives. It is meant to be enjoyable
No demeaning language is allowed. A great way to ruin romance and connection is by calling your partner names and speaking down to them. Self-control is vital.
Stay away from triggers. If you wind up in an argument with your partner when you are both drinking… No Alcohol
Have Fun and Change It Up
You MUST practice variety. Change the location, type, theme, and purpose.
Relax, let go of your inhibitions, and have fun. Get out of your comfort zone a little. You may be like me and have the Grace of a Drunk Elephant on the Dance floor, but your partner might love a little techno light jive. Do it for them.
The Ultimate Key to Date Night
One of the ‘must do’s’ when it comes to date night is to ‘do something different”. So many of us are caught on a rat wheel and stuck in a rut of the same old same old.
Studies have shown that doing new things in your relationship is vital to keeping it strong. Brain and behavioral researchers are suggesting that quality time is not enough. You need to change it up a bit sometimes and try new things together.
Find ways to introduce freshness into your relationship. It alleviates the danger of getting bored and becoming mundane. New experiences cause your brain to produce dopamine, which is your brains ‘reward system’. New experiences also ignite parts of your brain that are responsible for those exciting and butterfly feelings you get when you are falling in love.
Date Night Games for Every Couple
Every couple is different, and they have different needs, desires, and elements of their relationship that they want or need to work on.
We have provided ideas for a date night that will work for every type of couple, their interests, and desired outcomes. So read away with enthusiasm, highlight the things that will work for you and commit to growing, connecting, and having fun together!
For the Couple Who Want to Learn More About Each Other/Reconnect
Languages of Love
This is essential for every couple! We all express love and receive love in different ways. There are five languages of love (physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gift-giving, and acts of service).
Your love life can become problematic if you like to give love using a particular language, but your partner wants to receive it in another.
My ex-partner liked to give love using acts of service; he felt that providing was showing love. However, I want to receive love in quality time; so there was a division when he was away working to show his love, and I needed him to be spending time with me. I didn’t understand that this was a way that he showed love.
If we had undertaken this activity to understand each other’s language of love better, things might be different today.
Head to this page, take the test and have an amazing and insightful conversation. You may find out that you are receiving more love than you thought!
I Appreciate You/I Can Be Your Best Teammate
It is a simple exercise. We borrowed this from Calvin Coyles, from WILD Success. You list down or speak about all of the things that you appreciate about your partner and visa-versa.
Then, you both ask the other what they need from you to be your best teammate for the following week.
You might like to do this as an exercise before going to bed or first thing in the morning when you get up.
A Trip Down Memory Lane
It can sometimes be hard to remember the reasons why you first fell in love in the first place. Life changes and the world extracts time from both of you. Why not talk about or recreate a good time or date from the past.
You may like to recreate your first dance at your wedding or put on your skinny jeans and bat wings and head to a Suzie Quatro Tribute Concert.
Just talking about memories alone while holding eye contact can help you fall back in love.
Sometimes we spend time focusing on the negatives and don’t take time to remember all of the positives. Check out our ideas below on how to recreate this on a budget.
My Video for You
This takes time, though, and a bit of technological skill (or you can get someone to do it for you). Put together a vlog or video diary of all of the things that you love about that person, the great memories that you have had, how you have grown and triumphed and present it to them on date night. You can take them for a private screening at the cinema or hand them your phone over a nice dinner or pizza and beer.
If you want to take it to the next level, you can do a short clip every day of why you love your partner and present it to them on their birthday, the end of the year, or just because: “365 reasons why I love you.”
Why not take the time to find out more about what your partner wants by creating a year worth of Date nights, your Date Night Bucket List!
Ideas to Improve our Relationship
Dedicate a bit of time on date night to come up with ideas that you can take into your relationship to make it better. Use the following week until next date night to give it a go. It might be as simple as asking your husband to leave his boots outside because leaving them in the kitchen drives you stupid, or getting up a bit earlier to spend coffee time together. It may be something that you need, like speaking to a financial advisor or reading books together.
Remember, date night is a safe space. As long as the suggestions come from an area of love and are intended to be positive, this works a treat.
“Using the principles of positive psychology, the game challenges players to take real-world action to improve themselves and their life. It also strengthens relationships by helping people connect in a meaningful way.”
For the Couple Who Love the Outdoors
Ben and I love being outside. So much in fact that we live in an open style villa where the inside is the outside. Date nights don’t have to be within four walls.
An oldie but a goodie. Grab a cheese platter and some wine. Find a lovely blanket and head outside to share some love and sun. Vitamin B makes you happier and healthier, and you can spruce up this activity by adding some of the other games mentioned in the article.
Seriously, the science behind having your bare feet touch the earth speaks for itself. It helps to balance your emotions and fill your body with electrolytes. Go for a walk on the beach or in the forest, but do it with your shoes off. You can go a step further and do it in your birthday suit if you wish.
Give the Rifle Range a Go
Now Ben and I did some reading and had a chat about this. Something is liberating about shooting a high powered weapon (my perspective). There is something sexy about a woman firing a high powered rifle (Bens Perspective).
For The Busy Couple
Some couples struggle to find the time to plan too much; we have you covered as well! Here are some done for your ideas to get you started on Date Night, all You need to do is create the time!
52 Date Nights
Here is a year worth of date nights already thought out for you. It really couldn’t get much simpler than this.
A Token of My Love
This one can be spread out into a few minutes every day. Take the time to write your partner a little note every morning, wishing them wonderful things and expressing your love for them.
Take Your Partner to Work Day
If you have time getting away from the office, why not ask your partner to come and spend your lunch break at work? I once met a lady whose date night consisted of doing a truck run with her husband once a week. They used it to plan, to listen to comedy shows and audiobooks, and to have conversation shared between the two of them.
Long Distance LURVE
There are now sex toys that you can purchase that you can use even if you are oceans apart. You download the app, ensure you and our partner has a wifi connection and let the fun begin.
Get up 30 minutes earlier and dedicate that time to each other. You have to be smart and utilize extra time. You are not time-poor, and you need to find it and be committed to using it better for both of you.
“CREATIVE AND FUN ACTIVITIES to break the routine, refresh the relationship and bring the old flame back. The game helps couples to go on casual dates. Dates which differ from the usual ones since they are secretly planned by each other”
For the Couple Who Want to Plan a Better Future Together
Date night can also be dedicated to the success and growth of you both as a couple. Have you taken the time to think about your perfect future and how you are going to create it?
This one needs to be a regular occurrence. Sit down over a nice meal and start dreaming about the type of future that you want, where you are going to live, what your life is going to look like.
Too often as couples, we get caught up with what is happening at the moment and we never really plan for a happy future. For more information on how to do this, check out the activity here.
Goals and Action Planning
Once you have become comfortable in thinking about what it is you want in your future as a couple, set some goals. But remember, goals are only ideas without action and a time frame.
Set a time frame and start planning your steps to reaching your goals.
Revisit your goals and action plan every couple of weeks to make adjustments, stay accountable and focused, and celebrate together when you reach any milestones.
Little Book of Big Ideas
Ben and I have a little book that we both have access to, and if we have any ideas for our life or business, we jot it in the book and then discuss them over date night.
This one can be fun and may turn into your very real future. Use your date to start creating a business idea that would be fulfilling, fun, and fiscally fantastic! Ben and I did this over a few cocktails in the Yellow Café on the beach in Langkawi, Malaysia. It was based on our passions, our perfect lifestyle, changes we want to see in the world and for our children… and that little exercise has now turned into a Global rehabilitation Company that is changing the health of the earth!
Our Tribe Vibe
Have you taken time to think about the kind of people that you are letting affect you as individuals and your relationship?
So many couples allow toxicity to creep in from outside people.
Draw a map of the kind of people that you want to spend time with in the future and the kind of people that you don’t want to spend time with in the future. You may find yourself having a new sense of gratitude towards the people you surround yourself with or making plans to shuffle your circle of friends after this activity.
“A vision board is a powerful tool that anyone can use to shape an ideal future through the power of intention and visualization. Learning how to vividly imagine your desired results–attracting your perfect soul mate, radiant health, abundant career opportunities, or building personal and community relationships to give back–is the first step on the path to making them happen”
For the Romantic Couple/Couple Wanting to Introduce More Romance
For many, romance is about mood, but it is also about showing your partner that you have considered them in what you do. So here are a few tenders and thoughtful date night ideas for you.
My Thought for You
What is something that your partner would Appreciate? As an example, I LOVE FISHING and haven’t been for a long time. So Ben took the time, thought, and care on his date night turn to hire a boat and take me out on the water to catch some fish.
Our Star Story
Why not purchase and name a star together? You can also create a story behind the star name that is reflective of your relationship and love for each other. A little hint is to purchase one in your hemisphere. You can head here to start your Star Story.
“Massage Seductions For A Romantic Encounter. Are You Looking For Ways To Intensify Your Intimacy With A Variety Of Massage Methods? Bring Sensual Spa Experiences Home With This Erotic Massage Kit. The Kit Offers 24 Ways To Seduce Your Lover”
For the Couple Who Want to Step Outside of Their Comfort Zone
Getting out of your comfort zone means doing anything new that you don’t do daily. So if you don’t skydive every day, do that. Or find something easy and less hefty on the dollar like volunteering with a homeless shelter together.
The Nude Beach Date
I have been to a nude beach once in my life. Alas, it wasn’t with Ben, but I can’t wait to do it with him. Something is liberating about being starked in front of other people who are in the same condition and don’t seem to care. It can be exciting and a bit sexy too.
Have a few Date Nights doing something crazy. Seriously Crazy. Go skydiving, rock climbing, hire a hot lap, white water rafting. Whatever it is that scares you… get out and do it.
Many women aren’t comfortable being naked in front of their other half, which can bring a low level of confidence in your relationship. I think this has a lot to do with our lack of confidence due to other perfectly airbrushed women that we have the pleasure of looking at in the media and partially because we don’t grow up seeing our parents and other couples being naked, (for obvious reasons) so it isn’t viewed as normal.
Interestingly, if you take some time to google art history, women appear to be naked ALL the TIME! And naked doing everyday things like ‘chilling on the couch (probably watching Netflix 😊), sleeping with an octopus, cuddling geese… but seriously, if you use art as a factual basis for historical women… we were naked all the time!
We are told as young children that it is rude to be naked.
But nudity is very normal and natural (when it happens in appropriate places). We are born naked, and then someone will often put a human-made garment on us for aesthetics and warmth. But guess what, you probably have a heater, fire or blanket at home and I bet your partner appreciates the natural aesthetics that you come with.
You could set yourself a challenge to become more openly naked around each other and more comfortable with yourself. Or do some serious self-love work together to get to the point where you are healthy enough to get nude. Ben and I usually don’t put clothes on until after breakfast…. And that is to save the poor guy some shock when he comes in at around 8 am.
There doesn’t have to be anything sexual about having your clothes off (although some people may find this) if you don’t want it to. But it will lead to you having more confidence in yourself and strengthen the trust you have for each other.
Learn a New Skill
Pick a new skill that interests and challenges both of you. It may be as simple as learning a new language together, taking dance classes, or sexify it by going on a Tantric Retreat.
“The questions in the Vertellis Relationship Edition will have you explore many parts of you and your partner; some that you may have yet to talk about.”
For the Sexy Couple Or Couple Wanting To Introduce More S.E.X
Text to Sex
Send texts leading up to date night, retelling your version of your favorite sexual experience or fantasy in hourly segments throughout the day. If your partner is away from you, it will help build the excitement for that evening. If they are at work, it puts a bit of a ‘naughty’ edge on it.
Bubbles and Bubbles
This one is a classic, but always enjoyable. Run the bubbles and pop a bottle of bubbles. Play some sensual music light some candles that double as massage oils and of course, heighten the mood using sexy essential oils.
Karma Sutra Sex Game
Be warned, this game will bring an emotional connection as well as a sexual connection into the bedroom. It also requires a time commitment, so set aside a few hours when planning on playing this one! You may find that you give in due to the nature of this game and it all gets a little to arousing!
Everyone loves a good massage, but how about the skin on the skin using other parts of your body other than your hands. It requires you to be so close to each other and a little creative. A big hint is to use some super sexy and slippery massage oils so that you can slide and glide across each other.
Turn Me On Trio
Ben came up with this amazing little activity. It can help you communicate what you appreciate sexually. Women, we need to get better at telling men what we want. They don’t mind readers, and they understand it when you do. When I first did this with Ben, I got quite embarrassed because it meant that I wasn’t able to focus on him and had to put some thought into me and what I wanted. But he was happy to hear it!
Trio to Try
This one is so simple and can be a great discussion. This discussion alone is designed to strengthen how comfortable you are at approaching sex with your partner. This is where you both suggest three new sexual experiences that you would like to try.
A Fortnight of Foreplay
This is gold, talk about mounting up the sexual tension. The rules are simple… no sex, only foreplay for a fortnight leading up to date night. It takes self-control from both of you. And we suggest that you suggest to your male partners that they enter the date night after a fortnight of foreplay… with an unloaded weapon.
For the Food Loving Couple
You can always head to your favorite restaurant, but the key to keeping things interesting is to change it up a bit. Here are a few new ideas for the couple who love to feast!
Cook For Each Other
Why not spend time showing your partner you care by taking a few turns cooking for each other. Seriously! You can prepare their favorite meal with a little letter stating why you love them today, or what you are excited about the future.
Use your food to create a story of your journey, Use sweets to ignite a conversation about the good times you have had over the years, a sour or deconstructed dish to talk about the problems you have had and how you have overcome them, and of course, the Entrée. The entrée can signify how you first met and why you fell for your partner.
Try Something New
I am a sucker for trying fresh food. I will try everything once, and if I don’t like it, I will give it a second go to make sure (unless it is sea cucumber… you won’t see me putting that disgusting ocean slug near my lips ever again!). Why don’t you set a challenge to try a new food or dish every month? This ignites parts of your brain that create excitement and helps to push you out of your comfort zone.
Book a Food Holiday or Experience
Why don’t you get online and schedule in an adventure or holiday that revolves around food! EAT, PRAY, LOVE! It isn’t just a book! There are options for every budget. You can do something as simple as ordering in a sampler hamper, or book yourself a foodie holiday to Italy. If you want to do something on your terms, head to Chinatown or an exotic county, and indulge in the street food or arrange for a progressive dinner one evening.
Go to a Cooking Class
Who doesn’t love a cooking class? There are options available for every cuisine whether you like Asian or African, Mediterranean or Medieval! The possibilities are endless. You may have a friend who is an expert in a particular dish. If you are sticking to a budget, head online, find a tutorial, and do it in your own home!
There is nothing like a good bit of competition in a relationship. You can have a cook-off between you both and get your kids, friends, or each other to judge. You can set up a camp oven, backyard BBQ battle, time challenge, or do the four ingredients challenge and see who comes off on top. Once again, the limits to this only end with your imagination.
Edible Sexy Time
Food and Sex is one of the greatest love stories of all time. Many love stories are based on opposites that ‘just go.’ Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Aphrodite and everyone.
You can turn yourself into an edible platter and delicately place little bites on different parts of your body. You might like to spend time together preparing edible chocolate or feed each other strawberries and sparkling champagne.
Whether it is fine wine and sensual sex, or feeding each other messy finger food… whatever your style, there is a food and romance/sex story waiting to be told for the both of you.
For the Couple Who Love to Laugh/Need to Laugh More
As we told you before, laughter in a relationship can mean success in your relationship. You are more likely to stay together if you share a cackle between both of you now and then.
Giggly Game Night
This is so easy, and you can choose from so many games. You can get hold of twister or my favorite “Cards Against Humanity” and get down to giggling. Or why not play a classic game of charades?
There is nothing like sharing a good tummy laugh, but it can sometimes be tiring having to be funny yourselves. Let someone else do it for you and head out to a comedy show.
Get on Your Soapbox
This classic drinking game can be a hoot between the two of you. Write down 5 of your favorite topics each and put them in a jar. Take turns at pulling them out, stand on a box, chair, or whatever you have handy and speak on that topic for 2 minutes each. The topics are endless, and you can make them as hilarious as you like.
For the Creative Couple
For those of you who want to spend time being creative together, there is no reason why you can’t get those arty-farty juices running at date night.
You can do a sexy shoot, a couples shoot or take advantage of your creativity and take turns photographing each other. Work out what it is about your partner that you want to capture and set up the perfect portrait.
Okay, Ben and I did this one. It was actually quite early in our relationship, and I was initially doing it on my own and only wanted his arms in the shot (they are super sexy defined arms with wicked tattoos). The photographer thought he looked great and called him in on it. It was the most fantastic afternoon. A bit Risky and a whole lot of fun, it certainly got us to step out of our comfort zone early.
Paint Each Other
This can be two ways. You can grab a canvas and get to work capturing your partner on paper… or you can grab somebody to paint and get to work.
Ghost your Other Half
And we don’t mean avoid them. Grab some clay and recreate the classic scene from the movie. You can take this a step further and sculpt your partner (or your favorite body part of them). Remember to add a few inches so as not to offend…
Recreate Your Home
Head out to the shops and look at furniture and designs to recreate your perfect home, garden, or renno. Date night means that you get to do this whole process UNINTERRUPTED!
For the Couple on a Budget
Date night does not have to cost the end of the earth. You can get creative and smart and still achieve the outcomes that you and your partner need.
In fact, you can get almost all of our suggestions here on a budget. You can recreate the sexy pottery scene from ghost using your phone for music and play dough. Instead of hiring a photographer, get a friend to do it for you, photograph each other, or put out an ad on craigslist.
It isn’t about the money; it is about memory and the moment.
The Budget Memory Recreation
You may not have the cash on hand to recreate your first wedding dance or that epic concert where you fell in love. Why not do it anyway?
Set up the pre-concert bar or restaurant in your backyard and order in the food that you ate that night, download the Red Hot Chilli Peppers Californication concert (or whatever that moment was for you) and let loose in the lounge room, reliving the memories from that day.
If you don’t fit into your wedding dress anymore, make it fun, wrap yourself in a paper, grab a glass of champagne and dance to that song under the stars in your driveway. It may end up being better than the first time.
Kids Pool, Candles and Pizza
So you can’t afford the romantic secluded getaway right now. You know the one on all of the romantic movies a wooden cabin, with a gorgeous fireplace in front of the jacuzzi in the middle of a forest. That is fine. If you went there, you would have to take your food and prepare it anyway.
Get creative, it isn’t necessarily the place that makes the moment, and it is the thought, effort, creativity, and time spent together. So why don’t you grab some cheap tea light candles, fill your kids’ pool with warm water and bubbles, order pizza and have the most amazing moment that you can tell your kids about for years to come.
Friends and Family Fancy Restaurant, Schmancy Restaurant
Don’t get yourself down if you can’t justify tiny plates of food and five-star white-glove service. This option takes more thought and in setting it up, becomes so much more meaningful because of the effort that you put in.
This one takes planning and is all about the element of surprise. Take the time to ask your friends, family, and kids to help you out. Set up a night of thoughtfulness for your partner by asking those who care about you both to come and wait for you for the evening.
You can get your partners mum to cook his / her favorite meal, your best friend couple to serve drinks and food, and your kids to provide the entertainment. Showing them that you took the time to organize a wonderful affair for your partner and show them they are loved by others as well is a sure way to help them relax and feel super special.
Our Trip Around the World
You may have dreamed of jet setting around the world and seeing the sights together. It may happen in the future, why not spark your excitement for it by picking different countries you would like to travel to, order or create a meal from that particular part of the world and watch a movie based or created from that part of the globe.
For the Moms and Dads Who Find It Hard to Get Away from the Kids
There may be a time when it is JUST NOT POSSIBLE TO GET TIME AWAY FROM the kids… we have some ideas for you too. Of course, you can always wait until they are in bed or get a babysitter, but if that is not possible, you can give these ideas a try.
Get Your Kids to Wait on You
That is right if your kids are old enough to cook or serve food, let them be involved. They could set up a romantic table in the lounge or back yard and prepare and cook or order food for you and be your waiters/entertainment for the night.
This lets you have some time but also helps them to see the love that you share, be involved in the process of you connecting, get to experience you model working on a healthy relationship and let you all share in an amazing present time together.
Creche Venues and Kids’ Entertainment Areas
Some venues have places that care for children or have kids entertainment. Utilize them! Go out for dinner or head to the gym together while your babies are in a creche or your teenagers are focused on playing PlayStation in the designated area of the restaurant.
Do a Day-Date
Date nights don’t have to happen at night time. If your kids go to school, go to childcare, or have care options during the day, use this time. Date night can be morning and noon also. The important thing is scheduling time to do this.
You may have to reshuffle your work hours to take a bigger lunch break. If you are dedicated to it, you will make it happen.
Why not!? Set up a challenge to have a few sneaky sex sessions. You may both shoot home for a quickie during your lunch break while the kids are at school… or wait till the kids are in bed and have a sneaky shower together. Trust me, commit to it, and make a game of it. So many of us put off sexual relations because of our kids. It can be harder to find the time, but it doesn’t have to stop. Commit! It can happen every day, a few times a day if you want it to.
Ben and I are obsessed (and a way to mentally involved) with the TV show ‘Married at First Site.’ I get my psycho-analysis fix, and Ben gets to laugh at my reactions. We sit on the step outside and watch the youtube updates of this show on the nights that it is on. It is just something simple that we do together and look forward to, away from the world and our stressors.
Date Nights for Single Moms
Date nights are not just for coupled-up moms and dads… they are essential for single parents as well. It is a time that you deserve and can be wholly dedicated to you, connecting with people you care about… or finding new people.
Head Out on a Girl’s Night
Just because you are single momma doesn’t mean you don’t get to wine and dine and giggle. Why not invite the girls out or get them around for a self-care night full of pampering and good food.
I am Free… a Night to me
Why don’t you take yourself out and have some time to yourself? They say a true test of character is able to eat dinner by yourself. But if you are a single momma, this is a luxury, and you don’t care who is looking!?
Appointment with a Dating App
Spend an evening swiping right on tinder and taking yourself out to meet the potential partner. I am a huge advocate for dating apps as single moms. It is sometimes hard to head out like our childless counterparts. Guess how Ben and I met? It wasn’t through mutual friends or at a festival… no no no… we let our fingers do the talking before meeting each other.
The tinder for mums! That is right! Peanut lets you connect (just like tinder) with other like-minded mommas in your area.
Learn to Love me
There is no reason why you can’t run yourself a sexy bubble bath, play some divine music, and feast on strawberries and chocolates by yourself! Turn it up a notch by reconnecting with you and finding how you like to be touched by taking charge of the situation yourself.
Liberate yourself by getting to know you and becoming comfortable as a sexual Goddess. There is nothing wrong or taboo about touching you. If you feel a lull in your sex life, reignite or satisfy your sexual appetite with your fantastic self.
One of my best friends is a sexy single Momma in her 50’s. She went on a self – exploration journey just like this throughout several months. She is now so aware of what she likes that it will take a very special and skilled man to be able to satisfy her the way she can please herself.
Spend Time Planning your Future
There is a positive to being single. Take it from me, and you don’t have to settle in the future. You can set out to think about what you want in your life, in a partner, in a career. Take a few self date nights and put pen to paper to dream out the future you want.